“Winning His Heart” By Sadiq Onini Salamat


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It is every lady’s dream to have her man fall deeply, madly and truly in love with her. There’s no exact way to do it actually. But there is a way to make sure he cannot get you out of his mind. There are some things that you are probably wrong and I hope by the end of this piece, you have a greater understanding of what influences a man’s choices.
Men do not have a phobia for commitment, unlike most ladies love to think. Forget the ‘men are scum’ gang. Men want love and marriage as much as we do. As Africans, a woman has not lived to the fullest if she hasn’t obtained the title of ‘Mrs Somebody’. Interestingly, men are aware of this fact and it influences how they date.
When you start trying too hard to impress him, he begins to wonder the extent to which you’ll go to keep him. He’ll gamble with your feelings because he knows you’ll come crawling back to him. Sadly, at this point, desperation pushes some women to start asking questions like, ‘What are we?’, ‘Where is this relationship headed?’, ‘Do you want to settle down?’ etc.
Such questions give him the vibe that he is in charge of the relationship and sets his guard up. A man is unlikely to get attached to you when his guard is up like that. In fact, the less you use the word ‘COMMITMENT’, the greater your chances of getting one.
Giving a man the impression that you are insecure or that you need him to fill a void kills his desire to be with you. We are all curious beings. Just as you are more likely to be interested in the mysterious guy sitting on the other end of the class than the one that’s buying you roses and groveling at your feet for a smile, a man is more interested in the woman with the cryptic smile than the one that’s sashaying her hips for his approval. Leave him uncertain of his place in your life. Do NOT be in a hurry to prove what a good woman you are, or that you are wife material.
Sherry Argov writes in her book, ‘Why Men Marry Bitches’ that regardless of how many times he calls or wants to see you, it is better if you’re not 100% available to him. She adds that this is not about keeping physical distance, it is about showing him that your mind is occupied and he’s going to have to fight for space to be in it. Let him know your hobbies, make him see how much you enjoy your alone time. Men love to compete for attention, he will be intent on integrating himself in your schedule.
Appreciate his kind gestures, but don’t overdo it. Tell him how thoughtful his gestures are, thank him for that cake, and appreciate his compliments. Men also want to be valued and revered.
Most importantly, ladies, your sexiest attribute is CONFIDENCE. Men are easily smitten by a woman that exudes charm and authority. Trust and respect are synonymous in a man’s dictionary. He is going to trust you if he respects you and there’s no woman that commands respect as much as a self-confident woman.
So, be witty, be random and be unapologetically you. Oh, and smile while you’re at it.
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